One of my favorite sayings is from Johh F. Kennedy.
"The problems of man are man-made. They can be solved by man" John F. Kennedy
There's a formula that's used in the program Active Parenting which explains how life unfolds. EVENT > THINK > FEEL > DO
Something happens, or people imagine something happening. They generate thoughts about it. That's what the brain does. Those thoughts will sometimes cause feelings.
The thoughts or attitudes someone has about what happened, themselves, others and life will often simultaneously father mistaken goals and behavior intended to achieve them. Their feelings will be the driving force behind such behavior.
By what they say and do, people often create for themselves and others what many might call "problems". Technically, such "problems" are really just new events for them to think about.
Some people have a lot more adverse events to deal with than others. Some people manufacture adversity needlessly out of their events.
Some deal with their adverse life events better than others. Some people generate a dysfunctional amount of emotion. Some people say and do things that make their own and others lives worse instead of better.
For example, young people who struggle often have had someone else in their lives who has said or done something to them.
All these things can be traced back to what people choose to THINK, or how they or others in their lives chose to look at things. Thoughts cause feelings, not events.
Attitude is always the father of behavior. This brings me to my other favorite saying from Albert Einstein
"You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it" - Albert Einstein
The way you think, feel, say and do things may be working for you. If it is not broke, don't fix it. By "broke" I mean you're generating a dysfunctional amount of emotion, and saying
and doing things that make your life worse instead of better.
By "broke" I mean that you're not getting what you really want in life for all your effort.
If things are "broke", you'll need to start THINKING differently about yourself, others, life and what happens to you.
The good news is you will always have choices to make as to how you think or look at things.
Whatever way you choose will be understandable given what you've been through in your
life.
But you always have choices, choices that you alone can make, and no one can make for you. That's where your power and control over your destiny resides and come from.
Don't give it away. Use it. It's like that old saying, use it or lose it.
ray@itsjustanevent.com
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