If you are still in school, take adult education classes, or join clubs or organizations, you should succeed in forming a goodly number of acquaintances. But how do you go about turning some of these acquaintances into friends?
First, you should acquire an instinct for judging which acquaintances are likely candidates for friendship. If you find a conversation you have with somebody to be stimulating, and the other person seems to enjoy it too, that is certainly a good sign. Maybe the other person shares one of your interests or passions. If so, you can take the next step toward friendship immediately.
More likely, you will decide that a person is a good candidate for friendship only after several conversations with him or her. This is why places such as classes, clubs, church, and organizations that allow you to come into contact with the same people repeatedly will probably be the most promising as far as making friends goes.
If you find that you enjoy the other person's company and he or she enjoys yours, the two of you are certainly good candidates for friendship. How do you know if the other person enjoys your company? Simple: the other person will continue to seek you out for conversation.
Congratulations! You have found a potential friend. The next step is to invite him or her to some activity not far removed from the setting in which you normally find yourselves. For example, arrange to eat lunch, go for a walk, or study together. This will allow the two of you to gauge your compatibility with each other in a relaxed, casual setting. The best sign of a mutually rewarding friendship is when the other person reciprocates your invitations to lunch and to other activities.
The final step towards sealing your friendship is to invite your friend on more elaborate outings together, say a game of tennis, a trip to the museum, an expedition at your shopping mall, or attendence at a local concert.
It is important to emphasize that making friends, like so many other things in life, is largely a numbers game. That is, the odds of any single person you meet becoming a close friend are small. But the more people you meet, the greater will be your chances of truly connecting with someone-of finding someone who shares your enthusiasms and enjoys your company as much as you enjoy his or hers. This is why you must overcome the reticence that accompanies shyness. If you fail to strike up conversations with new people, you will be severely cutting your chances of making friends
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