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Thursday, November 30, 2017

Learn, Relax and Enjoy - 105


Started counting their change
A Young shop assistant was looking sad. 
Is “ I am not as beautiful as I used to be “, said unhappily 
“That is funny! What makes you think that ! asked her friends. “ my men customers have started counting their change “.


No money to deposit
“since I bought a new car” , said an officer, “I don’t have to walk to the bank to make my  deposits.” 
“ yes, now you must be driving over “ NO, I am left with on money to deposit”.


That  is the problem
After the funeral of the priest walked over to a young man look sad and asked, “ are you related to the dead man?”
“ no, sir, that is the problem. “


Talks about sandwiches 
When he is with a butcher, he talks meat,
When he is with a baker, he talks bread.
When he is with both, he talks about sandwiches


Right to contribute again 
Now that I am “ an associate member”, the businessman said “, just what are my rights and privileges? “ after thinking the matter over carefully, the man replied, “ well it gives you the right to contribute again to the club next year.” 


Criticism
Two men were discussing a new novel. One of them, a writer, said,” you have no right to criticize this book since you have never written anything yourself.”
“So what ? ‘ said the other, “ I have never laid an egg either, but I can criticize an omelet better than a hen can.”


Week days – How they got their names? 

Sunday is named after the sun, Monday, the moon. Tuesday, Tiu, Norse god of war, Wednesday, woden, Anglo Saxon chief of gods. Thursday, Thor, Norse god of thunder. Friday,Frigg ,Norse goddess. Saturday, Saturn, Roman god of harvests.


God and the Politician
After his death, a politician was taken before god since he refused to go to hell standing in front of god the politician said that he had done so much for the upliftment of mankind that he deserved to enter heaven. 
God was not impressed. Just before being sent out, the politician made a last attempt “ I have made people remember you,” he said. ”How?” asked god.
“people see the condition around them and say ,my god, what a mess these politicians have made”, said the politician.


Can a bird fly backward? Humming bird
How high can an Elephant Jump? Cannot Jump.
What has a head and foot but cannot think or walk? A hill


There are two things to aim at in life; first, to get what you want ; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
  

The way of a superior man is three  fold : virtuous he is free from anxieties  wise, he is free from perplexities bold, he is free from fear . --  Confucius.
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Item Reviewed: Learn, Relax and Enjoy - 105 Rating: 5 Reviewed By: BUXONE