Joke : A few days after his wife gave birth to
their fifth child the husband went to the registry office to register the child's birth and to get a birth certificate.
He filled out the form and handed it to the registrar, who read through it to
check that it was properly completed.
After a minute the registrar said to the man, "Excuse
me, sir. You've put down here that you are English and that your wife is English, but that your child is Chinese. How can
your child be Chinese?"
The man smiled and said, "My other four children are all English but this one is Chinese. Trust me."
The registrar looked confused and said, "I don't understand. Please explain how your child can be Chinese."
The man replied, "I read it in the newspaper last week. It said that every fifth child born in the world is Chinese."
Communication
People matter-of-factly use words or phrases that
distract, detract, and deflate their message. Is it any wonder their message is
misunderstood or not well received? When we choose to use verbal faux pas,
instead of communicating clarity and confidence, we create confusion and
mistrust.
The following is a list of the most common verbal faux
pas to banish from your vocabulary:
1. “Let me be honest with you” (Common variations include “To tell you the
truth,” and “To be frank with you".)
Translation: Dishonest Communication. This phrase
implies that, up to now, you’ve been deceitful or haven’t been completely
honest-that, in some way, you’ve been holding back.
Powerful Choice: Avoid this verbal distraction, and
you’ll keep your audience focused on your message.
2. “Kinda,” “Sorta,” “Wanta” (Example "It’s
kinda hard to share my feelings with her".)
Translation: Uncertainty. These words express your
uncertainty and inability to communicate your thoughts. (“I know what I want to
say, I just don’t know how to express it.”) When we communicate, we need to
always ensure that we convey a clear message-don’t waste words.
Powerful Choice: Communicate clearly by not using
these words. A stronger message is, “It is difficult for me to express my
feelings to her because she interrupts me often.” This clearer message clearly
and accurately conveys your thought.
3. “I'll try”
Translation: Non-commitment. How often have your
heard someone say, “I’ll try to give you a call next week.” Nine times out of
ten this will never happen. Why? Because the word try offers you an out which
says you’re not committed to doing or seeing an action through.
So when we say we’ll try, what we are really saying is,
“Maybe I will – maybe I won’t. I’ll give it a shot, maybe, and if I don’t
follow through or fail, don’t hold me to it.” In life you don’t try–either you
do or you don’t.
Powerful Choice: Better to eliminate use of this
word. Speak in the active tense and convey that you are working towards
something. “I will call you by Wednesday to set up a luncheon date.”
4. “I have to..”
Translation: Powerlessness. It’s been said that the
only thing we have to do in life is die and pay taxes. Well, this is only
partly true, because there are many people who choose not to do the latter. In
life, we always have a choice – there is nothing we have to do. We may feel
compelled to do something because of our values, sense of obligation or duty.
Ultimately, choice is in your hands and saying “I have
to…” implies that you have turned complete control of your life over to others.
You are dependent upon others to make choices for you. And should those choices
fail to turn out well, you have a built in excuse to say, “See what she did to
me!”
Powerful Choice: Use the active voice of “I will,”
“I need to,” or “I am” in place of “I have to.” This communicates your
intention and conditions and lets your conscious and unconscious mind support
you in your quest.
5. “You know” or "You know what I mean...
Translation: Confusion. This phase seems common by
even the most seasoned speakers, TV personalities, and celebrities. The phrase
implies, “It’s obvious what I’m trying to say. I shouldn’t have to say any
more-you know what I mean. Can’t you read my mind?”
For many, the first thought is, “No I don’t know what you
mean, please tell me.” “You know” is a speech filler which gives the speaker
time to think about what to say next.
Powerful Choice: Keep your message concise by
eliminating the use of this phrase. Pause instead, and you’ll avoid this speech
distraction and add clarity to your message.
In order to communicate powerfully, we need to be
selective about the words we choose to use. Your words can either confuse or
clearly state your message.
Banish these verbal faux pas from your vocabulary, and
you’ll reap the benefits of powerful communication that results in less
confusion and more confidence.
- A portrait of the last criminal
to be hanged in
Arizona was hung on her
bedroom wall.
- They were certainly hardy lads
and they worked up a hearty
appetite on their twenty-mile hike.
- Food can be called healthful if
it helps us lead healthy
lives.
- The movie's heroine died
of an overdose of heroin.
- The publication of Morrison's
first historical
novel proved to be a historic
event.
- The trouble with the economy is
that hordes of
people are starting to hoard their
money.
- A homonym is
one of two or more words spelled and pronounced alike but different in
meaning (as the noun quail and the verb quail). A homophone is
one of two or more words pronounced alike but different in meaning or
derivation or spelling (as the words to, too, and two). And,
incidentally, a homograph is
one of two or more words spelled alike but different in meaning or
derivation or pronunciation (as the bow of a ship, a bow and
arrow). The important distinction, then, is that words like the verb
obJECT and the noun OBject are homographs but not homonyms — because
they're not pronounced alike.
- In less than an hour, the
voters in our town are going to
vote for us.
- In preparing for his most
spectacular illusion, the
magician made an allusion to
the magic of Houdini.
- They have immigrated to this city from all over eastern Europe; later on, they may decide to emigrate elsewhere.
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