I love reading. And I love really weird ideas. So obviously I love utterly strange books. And thanks to Amazon, I can now fulfill my addiction to bizarre ideas from the comfort of my bathroom. Yay, technology!
So, as a public service to everyone who suffers from the same affliction as me here are the absolutely craziest book titles I've been able to find online.
Enjoy!
How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make three times in succession without drawing out.In addition, he also can have burned a strong beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration.If you don't know concentration which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell.
Zen of Farting
In 1993, a Taiwanese fisherman opened a chest that had been in his family for centuries. Inside, he found a manuscript which may be as significant as the Dead Sea scrolls—a manuscript which will revolutionize our thinking about the origins of Zen. Written on a rice paper scroll, the manuscript records the teachings of the founder of Zen, the Master Reepah Gud Wan. It makes it quite clear that Reepah, a legitimate teacher of Buddhism, was frustrated by the inability of his students to grasp the abstract concepts of the Buddha. In desperation, he decided to play a joke on them. He invented the Zen of Farting, confident that even the densest pupil would realize that he was making a joke and laugh at his excessive seriousness—not to mention his farts.
How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read
Each year, what are we supposed to do in those inevitable social situations where we’re forced to talk about books we haven’t read? Pierre Bayard argues that it doesn’t really matter if you’ve read a book or not. (In fact, in certain situations, reading the book is the worst thing you could do.) Championing the various forms of “non-reading,” How to Talk About Books You Haven’t Read is really a celebration of books, for book lovers everywhere to enjoy, ponder, argue about—and perhaps even read.
The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories
Meet women like Pauline in Miss Barnard's Unit--the country girl bereft of feminine influence who comes of age in World War I, and comes undone in the arms of a worldly debutante... Terry in Snake Eyes for Silky, a jockey from the school of hard knocks who falls hard for a whip-wielding gangster's moll, and finds that she must choose between her heart and her horse... Innocents like Lena and Lily in The Chosen Horse, who bond over the sad fate of a cart horse, and their unspoken need to tread the waters of Lesbos... A world-class jumper like Julie in Lady Snow, a champion tempted by the irresistible rhythms of the bisexual Euro-beat... A young girl like Oreola in Pastures of Passion, who follows a lost foal to a curious farm girl--and her own destiny...
The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America
In The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America author Julian Montague has created an elaborate classification system of abandoned shopping carts, accompanied by photographic documentation of actual stray cart sightings. These sightings include bucolically littered locations such as the Niagara River Gorge (where many a cart has been pushed to its untimely death) and mundane settings that look suspiciously like a suburb near you.
Working in the naturalist's tradition, the photographs depict the diversity of the phenomenon and carry a surprising emotional charge; readers inevitably begin to see these carts as human, at times poignant in their abandoned, decrepit state, hilariously incapacitated, or ingeniously co-opted. The result is at once rigorous and absurd, enabling the layperson to identify and classify their own cart spottings based on the situation in which they were found.
Games You Can Play With Your Pussy
Games You Can Play With Your Pussy and lots of other stuff cat owners should know. Hilarious, humorous book that will leave every cat-lover rolling with laughter. Includes Naming Your Pussy, How to Feed Your Pussy, Sleeping with Your Pussy, Disciplining Your Pussy, How to Handle A Hot Pussy and lots more. Very entertaining but it helps to have a somewhat perverted sense of humor.
How to Shit Around the World
There’s no way, and probably no good reason, to be subtle about it — diarrhea, parasites, and other gastrointestinal unpleasantries can be part of the price travelers pay for trying to see the world. Fortunately, this frank, witty guide lets world-explorers fight back against their invisible assailants. A noted traveler and writer, Dr. Wilson-Howarth explores such issues as sanitizing unhealthy water, safely consuming exotic foods, avoiding dehydration, keeping good hygiene on the road, and immunization. A special section details the dreaded creatures — spiders, leeches, worms — that can put any tour into a tailspin. With special tips for children and elderly travelers, as well as ways to dodge ailments such as malaria, typhoid, and hepatitis, How to Shit Around the World is the perfect, if not the most polite, traveling companion.
Cooking With Pooh
Finally a cook book that tells you how to complete the human digestive process. After your meal has been processed by your body, only waste remains. "Cooking With Pooh" shows you how to take that waste and recycle it into delicious treats. I had no idea that pooh could be used in so many dishes! Every recipe is low in fat although they all taste like crap.
Bombproof Your Horse
Every horse, from the pampered show-hunter to the family pet, is faced at one time or another with an object or situation that is overwhelmingly terrifying, or just downright confusing. With his systematic approach to "bombproofing," Sergeant Rick Pelicano of the Maryland National Capitol Park Police shares his methods on how to be proactive rather than reactive when it comes to training your horse to deal with such situations. His vividly illustrated manual shows you how to accustom your horse to a variety of circumstances, noises, and objects, thereby turning him into a more pleasurable, submissive, confident, and ultimately safer mount.
By Veronica Gwynn,
Editor, Mind Power News
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